Not a subtweet to what's-his-face, μέλαινα χολή, who can't spell "Halo is the best video game in the world. Ever." in a tweet, so I'm here to help him to learn how to spell.
tl;dr: #PWND is this:
But not that many people know the origin of the word PWND [because they are so young they were still in their diapers last week; kids these days. Sheesh!], not even the contributors to Urban Dictionary [see: c.f.: 'kids these days'] so I will break it down for you fresh n00bs so you can learn you sumthin' gooder.
You're welcome. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So, Halo 1 was the best video game in the world.
I'll pause let that sink in.
That is, until Halo 3: ODST came out, so now Halo 3: ODST is the best video game in the world (see above if you have to let that sink in for you to get it, you pea-brains). Well, in Halo 1, the pistol was, shall we say it had some 'balancing-issues'? You could three-shot anybody, anywhere, on any map, and, since it had 120 rounds, and since you played the game so well* [well, adv.: long, yeah, I have a life. Problems?], you knew exactly where your opponent was going to respawn, so you won the game without player two even getting a shot off.
Fair? Shuuur. In short: you just got PWND, n00b! Try harder next time, try-hard.
Etymology of 'PWND': from 'p-owned,' where 'p' stands for the Halo 1 pistol, also known as the 'global thermalnuclear weapon of massive and total destruction of the entire universe'-weapon.
All this is to say that my brother, Mike, and I would play Halo together. In fact, he (re-)introduced me to video games when he was going through the "Attack on the Control Room"-level (on normal... don't judge) (we all start somewhere) and trying to get over the bridge, but dying, over and over and over again, until finally, he made it to the end of the bridge and was running for the door when...
PWND!
Me: "Oh. You didn't see that invisible guy?"
Him, carefully putting down the controller: "I'm ... gonna go shopping. Wanna come?"
me: "Sure!"
Grocery shopping with Mike is always an adventure. This adventure involved a stock girl and a shaker of 'crazy'-... sorry! 'mixed-up'-salt, but that's a story for another time.
Well, so, Mike and I were playing co-op on Halo* [Mike and I playing co-op on Halo usually devolved into: "whomst'd can accidently betray-murder your team-mate the most." Mike! Do you remember hitting me with that overcharged plasma pistol just before 50,000 greebils overran me on the Captain Keyes-level on the Truth and Reconciliation? REMEMBER THAT?] at his place one night, and ... 7:30 am Tita Femme came downstairs, saw us still playing, and went back to bed, shaking her head.
Well, later that morning, at breakfast, Michael Jackson's "Ya Wanna Be Startin' Somthin'?"-song came on over the radio so, of course, I had to break it down when the scat-singing kicked in.
Just imagine me, dancing through the kitchen, belting out: "MAMA SEY, MAMA SA, MA-MA-KU-SA!" at the top of my lungs, and now you can see why Tita Femme grumbled: "That guy: is crazy."
And thus, you see a blog entry that kills two birds with one stone:
- The meaning and etymology of the word PWND
- Halo is the best video game ever, and anybody who disagrees is wrong and needs to hit the showers.
You're welcome.
